Screen 1
ONE:
New angle, revealing BURLEY and CALLOW, each dripping with river-water, behind FARROW, each with their GUNS pointed at him.
FARROW is raising his hands. He’s screwed and he knows it.
NO COPY.
TWO:
PAYNE taking the PISTOL from FARROW’S hand. He’s a winner, and he knows it.
BURLEY and CALLOW still covering FARROW.
1. PAYNE: You remember my friends, Sergeant Burley and Mister Callow, don’t you?
2. PAYNE: More stalwart help you would be hard-pressed to employ.
THREE:
PAYNE looking at FARROW’S PISTOL in his hand. FARROW is not unreasonably becoming quite nervous.
3. PAYNE: Now, this is an interesting turn, would you not agree?
4. PAYNE: And were I to end you here and report to the Smoke that it was you who let the map slip away…
FOUR:
PAYNE levels the PISTOL at FARROW.
5. PAYNE: …well, there would be no one to tell it otherwise.
6. PAYNE: I must say, this has been a day of interesting reversals.
7. SFX/off: clk
8. SFX/off: k-chak
Screen 2
ONE:
Reveal DRAKE and DRUM and WEST. West has a big and mean looking PISTOL of his own, while DRUM has, of course, his rifle, and DRAKE his PISTOL. They’re behind CALLOW and BURLEY, now reacting with surprise.
1. DRAKE: One way to put it, I suppose.
TWO:
Wide shot. A moment’s hesitation — will this be a fight or not?
DRAKE, DRUM, and WEST all covering CALLOW, BURLEY, FARROW, and PAYNE.
PAYNE looks right-pissed. FARROW looks relieved. Because he’s an idiot.
2. DRAKE: That’s an awful lot of iron y’all are carrying.
THREE:
DRAKE. Not nearly as amused as his words would suggest.
3. DRAKE: I imagine it’ll be a pretty splash when they hit the water.
THIS is what I have been waiting for!
Well, nice turn-arounds. [Smile]
Oh, I suspect that Payne’s also a fool if he thinks he can lie to the Smoke.
Of course, we may not find out if it’s possible to lie to the Smoke. [Evil Grin]
The Smoke is a dragon. You CAN lie to him. You just won’t survive it.
If he discovers the fact in such a way as to be able to do something he finds useful about it.
Love it love it love it 😀
BTW, since Burley and Callow took a dip in the river, wouldn’t their guns be ineffective because they got soaked? Then again, Farrow might be too big of a fool to realize Payne’s henchmen posed an empty threat.
On a side note, Greg and Rick, I read a little bit of the description of The Sphere and thought it sounded a bit like a snow globe. But if the “aether storms” were caused by someone or -thing shaking The Sphere, do I as a reader really want to see the being that could do that?
A dunk in water probably won’t render a gun that uses cased ammunition useless, especially not immediately, and double-especially if you can get ahold of some dry ammo. If the wet ammunition is shoddily-crafted, some rounds might leak and get the powder wet, which will render that individual round less effective or even cause it to misfire.
There’s a chance, maybe even a good chance, that Burley and Callow’s weapons might not work correctly on the first shot, but not so high a chance that you’d want to tempt them to take their chances.
I like Miles. He rarely says exactly what he means, but he always says exactly what he means.