Screen 1
ONE:
Wider, FARROW and THE SMOKE. The Smoke has receded somewhat, more comfortable being unseen, and, frankly, aware of the power it gives him.
FARROW is nervous as hell, his mind racing.
1. FARROW/small: She has the map…
2. FARROW/small: …then she means to deliver it to the Rose.
3. FARROW: She’s on her way…
TWO:
FARROW speaks to THE SMOKE.
THE SMOKE is watching Farrow balefully with one eye.
4. FARROW: …she’s coming here.
THREE:
THE SMOKE. All malevolence and subdued menace. This is his will.
5. THE SMOKE: Agent Payne estimates Pegasus will make Land in five days.
FOUR:
FARROW listening, as THE SMOKE spells this out. FARROW is anxious, and devious, and scared, so he’s paying attention.
6. FARROW: Agent Payne failed you, sire. Why should you give weight to such a report?
7. PAYNE/off: Because, Farrow…
Day 10
Screen 2
ONE:
As if emerging from beneath one of THE SMOKE’S wings, out of the mist and darkness, comes PAYNE. He’s looking as confident and smooth and assured as he did back in the Tanitin.
He, like Farrow, has removed his hat.
1. PAYNE: …I’m not the coward here, remember?
TWO:
As odd a three-shot as I can imagine, Rick – FARROW facing PAYNE, with THE SMOKE looming in the shadows over them.
FARROW and PAYNE are looking at each other evenly. They don’t like each other.
2. FARROW: Darius. Still an overstuffed brute in a suit, I see.
3. PAYNE: Ethan. The same mollycoddled lickspittle as ever, I see.
4. THE SMOKE: Enough.
THREE:
On THE SMOKE, glaring down at them.
5. THE SMOKE: Delight me though it may to hear you two belittle one another, it
distracts from your purpose.
Y’all updated early! Sweet! 🙂
Hmmm… I smell trouble…
What is the “Day 10” reference?
Is “/ small” an instruction as to a speech balloon’s size or the quality of the speaker’s voice generally?
WulfW — I usually cut out the “Day XX” bits when I post the script, but that’s just saying this is the tenth installment of this chapter, the tenth day I’ve posted a strip from Chapter 09. It’s a passage of time in our world, not in the world of the Aether.
Farrow’s face in panel 4 is fantastically done.
Agent Payne has a fast aether ship, plot propulsion, or something else. Last we saw him he was in the same place as Sabre and the Marshall. Hmm he actually went to visit Kaya after that, so he took a detour as well.
There was actually a chapter I’d written where you saw him on his cutter, the Swift, with the Five Gunmen, and an explanation as to the fact that they were making all-speed to Shera. But I kinda decided the chapter didn’t have a purpose other than to explain what Payne was doing and how he’d get to Shera, so I went with this one, instead. But yes, he’s got a fast ship. Not a fighter by any means, but it’s a mover.
I have 2 decidedly different visions of the Swift. I will let you lot surprise me with the actual design should we ever actually see it.
Nice art work here again with The Smoke circling.
And good to know a) you thought of it b) you edit for story strength (if he has a way. minor issue to not show it, better to not be boring and get the surprise appearance).
Sort of sorry to show I read so deep into all the little things, but really like that you do all the background work. So I guess these little points show appreciation for the details even if they don’t show all the time.
Ah, the gentlemanly insult. so genteel.